Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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