He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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