Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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