This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
