textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
