i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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