Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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