I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize