her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
