Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
