found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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