Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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