dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
