We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
