Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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