I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize