so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
