I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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