absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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