Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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