I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
