I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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