youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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