Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
