i love accidental penises.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
