I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
