i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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