Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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