So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
