So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All the doctor said was why
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
