Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
