They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize