In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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