there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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