I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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