Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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