I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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