Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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