i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
are you so shy because you have an std?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
