I don't think brook has ever known best
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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