At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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