I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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