now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
