Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you inspire me to be a worse person
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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