is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
