You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Me too!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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