I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
