I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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