Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
