We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
