Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
