So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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