Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
