I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
