I think I died a long time ago.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I AM VODKA MAN
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
