So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
