I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
