Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
