Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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