Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
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The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
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Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel