whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2