They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09