I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
babies were throwing up all over the place
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just blew my weed a kiss
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode