life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.