the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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