haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
