Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
