It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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