I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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